Your daughter comes home and tells you a biological boy was in the girls' bathroom or locker room at school. You call the administration expecting them to act — and instead you're told he's allowed to be there, and if your daughter is uncomfortable, she's the one who can use a different bathroom.
That scenario is playing out in schools across the country, according to Kim Hermann, president of Southeastern Legal Foundation and a constitutional attorney who has spent years litigating these cases. On this episode of The Family Policy Alliance Report, Hermann joins Craig DeRoche to explain what families are encountering, what legal protections actually exist, and what parents should do the moment this happens to their own child.
What's Actually Happening in Schools Nationwide
Hermann describes a consistent pattern she sees across the country, in red states and blue states alike: a young girl, often in elementary school, encounters a biological boy in the restroom — sometimes a peer, sometimes an adult male on campus for maintenance or other work. When the girl objects or a parent calls the school, Hermann says families are frequently told their daughter simply has to accept it.
She points to one case her organization is currently handling out of Kansas, where a first-grade girl was told that if she wanted privacy, she would have to walk alone across the entire school campus to use a separate bathroom near the front office — a requirement Hermann notes conflicts directly with the school's own safety policies requiring young children to have a buddy anywhere else on campus. According to Hermann, the child, now in fifth grade, ultimately required mental health treatment because of the shame she experienced over simply wanting privacy.
Family Policy Alliance has also been raising concerns about the risks AI chatbots can pose to children, including bots engaging minors in inappropriate conversations and encouraging harmful behaviors.
When AI Becomes More Than a Tool
Grayston isn't anti-AI. He uses it himself and has heard plenty of stories about artificial intelligence making people's jobs easier and more efficient.
But there's a line between using AI as a tool and allowing AI to become a substitute for human relationships.
Grayston hears about people using AI for counseling. Parents have told him they're worried teenagers are replacing traditional relationships with what he calls "counterfeit relationships" and "counterfeit intimacy." Others have approached him with concerns about loved ones developing inappropriate relationships with companion bots.
AI also presents another challenge: it can sound remarkably confident even when it's wrong.
Grayston has encountered that himself when asking AI theological questions. For someone who is spiritually curious but doesn't have a pastor or trusted Christian community to turn to, an authoritative-sounding answer from a chatbot can be difficult to recognize as inaccurate.
His biblical argument goes even deeper.
In Genesis, God says it is not good for man to be alone. Grayston points to that as evidence of something fundamental about humanity: we were created to need other people.
No matter how human a chatbot sounds, he argues, it cannot replace the relationships, purpose and community God designed human beings to have.
What Can Parents Do About AI?
For parents, this isn't a problem to save for the future.
Grayston says elementary-age children are already encountering AI on devices, and parents shouldn't assume their children are too young to know about ChatGPT, companion bots or other AI tools.
His first advice is simple: have the conversation.
Ask what your children are using. Set clear boundaries about which platforms are appropriate. Consider where and how devices can be used. And don't assume your child has to have unrestricted access to a smartphone simply because everyone else does.
Grayston and his wife faced that pressure themselves. They decided their daughter couldn't have a phone until she was 13. At the time, he says, she thought they were the worst parents in the world.
Today, he doesn't regret it for a second.
But protecting children in a rapidly changing digital world can't fall on parents alone. As AI becomes embedded in the apps, platforms and devices children use, parents need to remain at the center of decisions affecting their children — and technology companies need to be held accountable when their products put kids at risk.
That's part of the broader work Family Policy Alliance is advancing through Let Parents Parent, which defends parents' God-given right to direct the upbringing, education and care of their children.
The Nationwide Title IX Injunction — How Three Mothers Made It Happen
Hermann describes a case her organization brought during the Biden administration, after the Department of Education redefined "sex" under Title IX to include gender identity — a change that would have required every school in the country to allow biological males into girls' bathrooms, locker rooms, and sports. Working with Moms for Liberty, Southeastern Legal Foundation represented three mothers whose daughters were directly affected, including one who would have been forced to change into a swimsuit in front of boys for a mandatory high school swim class.
According to Hermann, the case moved from filing to a nationwide injunction blocking the rule in all 50 states in under six weeks — a result she attributes directly to those mothers' willingness to come forward and tell their stories in court.
This same fight over locker rooms, changing spaces and fair access for girls is central to Family Policy Alliance's Save Girls' Sports campaign, which works to protect girls' opportunities and safety in athletics nationwide. That work reached a major milestone this year when the U.S. Supreme Court upheld states' ability to protect female athletic teams based on biological sex under Title IX.
Why Policy and Legal Action Have to Work Together
Hermann argues that legal wins alone aren't enough without policy organizations pushing complementary legislation — and vice versa. Strong laws without enforcement in court have no teeth, she says, while legal victories can be undone if legislatures and agencies don't move policy in the same direction. She also points to the role legal and policy organizations play in simply educating parents on rights they may not know they have, so that wins on either side aren't quietly eroded.
Hermann also cites polling she says shows more than 80% of Americans agree that boys shouldn't be in girls' bathrooms — a majority she believes isn't being reflected in how many schools currently operate.
A Fight Hermann Calls Defining for This Generation
Hermann frames this issue in stark terms: as a civil rights fight, a free speech fight, and a religious liberty fight simultaneously. She says protecting children's privacy and dignity in these situations is the work she expects to be proudest of when she looks back on her career.
How to Get Help
Southeastern Legal Foundation represents families free of charge as a 501(c)(3) organization. If your family is encountering a similar situation, Hermann encourages parents not to wait or assume nothing can be done.
Learn more or reach out to Southeastern Legal Foundation at slfliberty.org.
Learn more about Family Policy Alliance and join us at familypolicyalliance.com.
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