Your daughter comes home and tells you a biological boy was in the girls' bathroom or locker room at school. You call the administration expecting them to act — and instead you're told he's allowed to be there, and if your daughter is uncomfortable, she's the one who can use a different bathroom.
That scenario is playing out in schools across the country, according to Kim Hermann, president of Southeastern Legal Foundation and a constitutional attorney who has spent years litigating these cases. On this episode of The Family Policy Alliance Report, Hermann joins Craig DeRoche to explain what families are encountering, what legal protections actually exist, and what parents should do the moment this happens to their own child.
What's Actually Happening in Schools Nationwide
Hermann describes a consistent pattern she sees across the country, in red states and blue states alike: a young girl, often in elementary school, encounters a biological boy in the restroom — sometimes a peer, sometimes an adult male on campus for maintenance or other work. When the girl objects or a parent calls the school, Hermann says families are frequently told their daughter simply has to accept it.
She points to one case her organization is currently handling out of Kansas, where a first-grade girl was told that if she wanted privacy, she would have to walk alone across the entire school campus to use a separate bathroom near the front office — a requirement Hermann notes conflicts directly with the school's own safety policies requiring young children to have a buddy anywhere else on campus. According to Hermann, the child, now in fifth grade, ultimately required mental health treatment because of the shame she experienced over simply wanting privacy.
Family Policy Alliance has also been raising concerns about the risks AI chatbots can pose to children, including bots engaging minors in inappropriate conversations and encouraging harmful behaviors.
What Parents Should Do When This Happens
Hermann is direct about the first legal steps parents should take. She recommends documenting everything in writing — starting with an email to the school requesting a meeting and asking directly what the school’s policy is. She also advises checking the school’s published policy immediately, noting that policies have a habit of disappearing from school websites once they’re questioned.
Beyond documentation, Hermann says parents can file complaints with their state (particularly in states with protective laws already in place) or with the U.S. Department of Education, and should consult an attorney. If a child was physically touched or exposed to another student inappropriately, she notes there may also be a criminal component to the situation, which falls outside what a civil legal organization like Southeastern Legal Foundation typically handles directly.
Hermann’s advice reflects a core message behind Family Policy Alliance’s Let Parents Parent campaign: parents have both the right and the responsibility to speak up when a school policy puts their child at risk, without waiting for permission to act.
The Nationwide Title IX Injunction — How Three Mothers Made It Happen
Hermann describes a case her organization brought during the Biden administration, after the Department of Education redefined "sex" under Title IX to include gender identity — a change that would have required every school in the country to allow biological males into girls' bathrooms, locker rooms, and sports. Working with Moms for Liberty, Southeastern Legal Foundation represented three mothers whose daughters were directly affected, including one who would have been forced to change into a swimsuit in front of boys for a mandatory high school swim class.
According to Hermann, the case moved from filing to a nationwide injunction blocking the rule in all 50 states in under six weeks — a result she attributes directly to those mothers' willingness to come forward and tell their stories in court.
This same fight over locker rooms, changing spaces and fair access for girls is central to Family Policy Alliance's Save Girls' Sports campaign, which works to protect girls' opportunities and safety in athletics nationwide. That work reached a major milestone this year when the U.S. Supreme Court upheld states' ability to protect female athletic teams based on biological sex under Title IX.
Why Policy and Legal Action Have to Work Together
Hermann argues that legal wins alone aren't enough without policy organizations pushing complementary legislation — and vice versa. Strong laws without enforcement in court have no teeth, she says, while legal victories can be undone if legislatures and agencies don't move policy in the same direction. She also points to the role legal and policy organizations play in simply educating parents on rights they may not know they have, so that wins on either side aren't quietly eroded.
Hermann also cites polling she says shows more than 80% of Americans agree that boys shouldn't be in girls' bathrooms — a majority she believes isn't being reflected in how many schools currently operate.
A Fight Hermann Calls Defining for This Generation
Hermann frames this issue in stark terms: as a civil rights fight, a free speech fight, and a religious liberty fight simultaneously. She says protecting children's privacy and dignity in these situations is the work she expects to be proudest of when she looks back on her career.
How to Get Help
Southeastern Legal Foundation represents families free of charge as a 501(c)(3) organization. If your family is encountering a similar situation, Hermann encourages parents not to wait or assume nothing can be done.
Learn more or reach out to Southeastern Legal Foundation at slfliberty.org.
Learn more about Family Policy Alliance and join us at familypolicyalliance.com.
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